We talk about everything; careers, relationships, kids, dreams…but when it comes to our own health, silence often takes the mic.
I have a friend who cancelled her mammogram last year. “I’m scared,” she admitted over coffee, her voice barely above a whisper. “What if they find something?” Another friend, always the planner, promised herself she’d book a check-up. “I’ll do it next month,” she said. But next month quietly slipped into next year. Sound familiar?
The truth is… fear of knowing is one of the biggest invisible barriers to women’s health. It’s not laziness or neglect; it’s the weight of “what if.” And it’s time we talk about it.
The Unspoken Fear
“We’re not afraid of the test – we are afraid of the answer.”
The fear of finding something wrong can feel like standing at the edge of a cliff. For many women, delaying screenings isn’t about forgetting, it’s about anxiety. Maybe it’s a family history of illness that looms large, or a story from a friend that hit too close to home. Maybe it’s the cultural silence around women’s health, where we’re taught to soldier on without complaint. Whatever the reason, this fear is valid. It’s human. It’s shaped by our experiences, our vulnerabilities, and the stories we carry.
But here’s the thing: Bravery isn’t about not being scared, it is however, about showing up scared. Acknowledging that fear is the first step to moving through it. It’s okay to feel your heart race at the thought of a doctor’s visit. It’s okay to need a moment to breathe before you dial the clinic. What matters is taking that step, even when your knees are shaking.
The Emotional Load We Carry
“Women are taught to be caregivers, not care receivers.”
As women, we’re often the ones making sure everyone else is okay. We book doctor’s appointments for our kids, remind our partners to get their check-ups, and check in on our parents’ health. But when it comes to ourselves?
Too often, we push our own needs to the bottom of the list.
Studies show that women, especially after 40, are less likely to keep up with regular health screenings. In South Africa, for example, barriers like access, time, and cost can make it harder, but fear is often the silent partner in that equation. We can’t pour from an empty cup. If we want to show up fully for the people we love, we must show up for ourselves first.
Reframing the Fear
“What if finding something early is the most powerful act of self-love you’ll ever do?”
What if we could shift the narrative? Instead of seeing health screenings as a source of dread, what if we saw them as a way to take back control? Finding something early, whether it’s a small issue or something bigger – gives us the power to act, to plan, to fight. It’s not about inviting bad news; it’s about giving ourselves the best chance to write our own story.
Here are a few ways to make that first step feel less daunting:
- Bring a friend or sister. Call it a “Sista Check-In.” Having someone by your side can make the waiting room feel a little less heavy.
- Tie it to a milestone. Schedule your annual check-up around your birthday, like a gift to your future self.
- Write an affirmation. Before your appointment, try jotting down: “I’m showing up for my future self.” Say it out loud. Let it sink in.
These small acts of courage don’t erase the fear, but they remind us that we’re in charge of our health, not the other way around.
Starting the Conversation
“When we speak, we heal. When we share, we strengthen.”
The silence around women’s health doesn’t just live in our minds, it’s in the conversations we’re not having. When was the last time you talked openly with a friend, sister, or daughter about your health fears? Or shared the relief of getting a clear result? These conversations aren’t just cathartic, they’re transformative.
They normalise the act of prioritising ourselves and give others permission to do the same.
So, let’s start talking. Share this article with a friend. Post a story about your own health journey and tag it #SistaCheckIn. Let’s make these discussions as natural as chatting about our favourate books or weekend plans. At Sista.Love, we believe that wellness isn’t a solo journey, it’s our collective heartbeat. When one woman takes care of herself, she inspires others to do the same.
Courage Isn’t Loud
“Courage isn’t loud. Sometimes it’s just booking that appointment.”
Fear doesn’t mean weakness, it means we care deeply about our lives, our families, our futures. Taking that step to prioritise your health is an act of love, not just for yourself but for everyone who depends on you. So, pause for a moment and ask yourself: What would it look like if I showed my body the same love I show everyone else?Maybe it’s calling your doctor today. Maybe it’s texting a friend to plan a “Sista Check-In.” Whatever it is, know that you’re not alone. Join the Sista.Love community as we change the narrative, one conversation at a time. Book that appointment. Speak your fears. Share your story. Because when we show up for ourselves, we show up for each other.
LotsOfLove, SL
