Let’s be honest: if life sent a calendar invite for every curveball, we’d all be far more prepared, better dressed, and a lot less sweaty. But it doesn’t. One day, you’re convinced you’ve got your five-year plan, your skincare routine, and your pantry sorted; the next, you’re staring at three mismatched Tupperware lids and asking yourself existential questions over a cup of rooibos. Uncertainty happens. And here’s the hot take: not knowing can be the most powerful invitation to growth you’ll ever receive.
We’re raised to believe that certainty is synonymous with success. Have a plan, stick to it, don’t wobble. But life doesn’t live on spreadsheets. It’s messy, human, and gorgeously unpredictable. When we’re forced to step into the unknown — a career change, a new relationship, a big move, or simply the “what now?” between chapters — we meet ourselves in a new way. That’s where the magic begins.
Let’s call it the “Uncertain Girl Era.” She’s the version of you who doesn’t have all the answers but shows up anyway. She swaps “I should know” for “I’m curious.” She trusts that even if she’s not sure of the route, her internal GPS has at least one bar of signal. Is it comfortable? No. Is it empowering? Absolutely.
Here’s the thing about not knowing: it makes space. It frees you from the script you thought you had to follow. In that space, you get to ask better questions — not “What’s the perfect choice?” but “What feels true?” Not “What will they think?” but “What do I want my life to feel like?” In a world that prizes certainty, choosing curiosity is a quiet act of rebellion. And a delicious one.
Now, I’m not suggesting we leap into the abyss without a parachute and call it personal growth. We’re not here for reckless chaos. We’re here for brave softness. Think of uncertainty like the early morning ocean: a bit cold, a bit wild, but invigorating if you breathe, ease in, and trust your body. You don’t have to dive headfirst. You can wade, starting with your toes, then your ankles, and finally your knees. The point is presence. The fact is progress.
Some practical ways to flirt with uncertainty without spiralling:
- Make mini moves. If the big decision feels overwhelming, scale it back. Don’t “change careers.” Take a short course. Shadow someone. Update your CV. Message that person on LinkedIn: ‘You’ve been stalking like a shy detective.’ Tiny actions are momentum disguised as admin.
- Try permission slips. Literally write, “I have permission to not know this yet” on a sticky note and put it where you’ll see it (fridge, mirror, laptop, snack drawer). It may sound silly, but it calms the nervous system and creates space for creativity.
- Anchor your rituals. You can’t control everything, but you can control your morning stretch, your water intake, your WhatsApp boundaries, and your bedtime scrolling. Keep a few routines that steady you while everything else is shapeshifting.
- Curate your cheerleaders. Not everyone deserves a front-row seat to your evolving story. Keep the people who don’t need you to be sure that you love them. The ones who say, “Tell me more,” instead of “By when?”
- Celebrate experiments, not outcomes. Did you try something new? Did you survive? Did you learn a thing? That counts. Make a ritual of it. Friday night bubble bath? Add a toast to your weekly experiments—bubbles for bravery.
Uncertainty is also a fabulous teacher of boundaries. When you don’t know the destination, you become extra aware of your fuel levels. You notice who drains you, what habits numb you, and where you abandon yourself to keep the peace. Not knowing forces you to ask, “What do I need to feel safe while I figure this out?” Maybe it’s more sleep. Perhaps it’s saying no to that event you’ve already mentally flaked on. Maybe it’s deleting an app for a month. Boundaries are the supportive underwear of this journey — not always glamorous, but my word, they hold you together.
And let’s unpack the fear of failure, because she’s loud in uncertain seasons. We think we’re scared of failing, but often we’re afraid of being seen trying. The cure is compassionate visibility. Tell a trusted person, “I’m trying something, and I don’t know if it’ll work.” Watch how your shoulders drop. Watch how shame shrinks under the light of honesty. Perfection is brittle. Humanness bends, breathes, and bounces back.
There’s also a distinctly local flavour to this truth. We’re a nation of improvisers. We know how to turn a two-minute warning into a picnic in the dark. We know how to share chargers, stories, and solutions. Uncertainty has taught us resourcefulness, humour, and resilience — the kind that dances in the kitchen when the plan changes. Not knowing doesn’t make you weak; it makes you inventive. It invites community. It says, “Come closer, let’s figure this out together.”
A fun exercise: Future You Letters. Write a note to yourself from six months ahead. She doesn’t have it all sorted, but she’s wiser. What does she thank you for starting? What did you let go of? What surprised you? Let future-you be your mentor — she’s kinder than you think and has excellent taste.
And because we’re women who carry the world while remembering to moisturise our necks, here’s your permission to rest. Growth isn’t only the sprint. It’s also the nap. It’s the unsexy admin of making a doctor’s appointment. It’s choosing a walk over another doom-scroll. It’s asking for help without writing a 12-paragraph apology. Rest is not a reward for certainty; it’s a resource for courage.
If you’re in a foggy season right now, consider this your sign: you’re not behind. You’re in the chrysalis. The goo stage looks messy because transformation is a chemical process, not a choreographed one. Your only job is to keep breathing and take the next step. A life you love is built one curious decision at a time.
A quick mantra for your fridge: I can be unsure and still be unstoppable. Say it out loud. Whisper it into your coffee. Scribble it in your diary next to the shopping list. Let it live in your body.
Here’s your tiny challenge for the week:
- Pick one thing you don’t know and ask one question about it. That’s it.
- Do one small action that takes less than 15 minutes and moves you 1% forward.
- Celebrate it. Song, snack, sunbeam, whatever says “well done” in your language.
One day soon, you’ll look back and realise the season of not knowing was the season you met your courage, your creativity, and your sense of humour. You’ll see how surrendering control didn’t make you smaller — it made you spacious. You became a woman who can hold mystery without shrinking, who trusts herself even when the path isn’t lit, who laughs mid-plot twist and keeps going.
So here we are: not certain, but we’re in the game. Not perfect, but present. Not finished, but flourishing. The unknown is not a test you have to pass; it’s a dance you get to learn. Shoes off, shoulders loose, heart open. Let’s go.
LotsOfLove
SL
